Sexual addiction

Sexual addiction is rapidly becoming recognised as a major social problem with similarities more well-known to alcohol and drug addiction or compulsive gambling. We are becoming accustomed to hearing about sexual scandals in our communities, in the workplace, schools and government. Sometimes we experience shocking sexual discoveries in our own families, involving people we know personally. Many of these situations are better understood if we have some knowledge about sexual addiction.

Starting in the late 1970's a psychologist and researcher, Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., was instrumental in the initial identification and treatment of sexual addiction as a condition. He is also responsible for sending accurate information about it into the hands of professionals. Carnes states, "Contrary to enjoying sex as a self-affirming source of physical pleasure, the sex addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, for nurturing or relief from stress," comparable to the alcoholic's purposeful use of alcohol. Sexual addiction can have many forms but in general, the addiction has three main characteristics, the sex is shameful, secret and often abusive (plus self-destructive).

Here are several examples:

• Compulsive masturbation--accompanied by mental images or thoughts about sex, or while viewing sexual images on the TV or computer screen or while looking at pornographic publications (or even while looking at non-sexual material, such as underwear or swimwear ads).
• Compulsive sex with prostitutes--this can be with female or male prostitutes or transvestites
• Anonymous sex with multiple partners, "one night stands" picked up at bars, or sex with strangers in parks or restrooms, or sex in any number of anonymous situations, where sex is the object and no relationship is established with the person.
• Multiple affairs outside a committed relationship, or serial relationships (one after the other).
• Frequent patronizing of topless bars, sexually-oriented tanning salons, adult bookstores or sexual massage establishments.

Current estimates suggest that about 8% of the total population of men in the United Kingdom are sexually addicted. The Internet has become the most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out. One of the characteristics of sexual addiction is that it is progressive--that is, the habitual behaviours progressively become more frequent, varied and extreme. The sexual thrills lead to spending huge amounts of time, moving more quickly into more extreme behaviours, taking greater risks, and getting caught more frequently. The problems don't go away on their own and the addiction can become overwhelming, not just to individuals but also to families. Internet sex has been referred to as the "crack cocaine" of sex addiction.

Self-Test for sexual addiction

• Do you frequently fantasize or think about sex?
• Have you made promises to yourself or others to change or stop some of your sexual behavior, and then broken these promises?
• Does your sexual desire cause you to associate with people you wouldn't normally be with or do things you wouldn't usually do?
• Has frequenting sex sites on the internet for sexual stimulation become a habit for you?
• Do you frequently engage in sexual chat in sexually oriented chat rooms on the internet?
• Is masturbation a frequent activity for you?
• Do you have or have you had an extensive collection of pornography or other X-rated material?
• Have you disposed of a pornography collection and then started collecting it again?
• Do you with some regularity rent (or buy or make your own) X-rated videos?

If you think you might be suffering from sexual addiction, or have answered "yes" to three or more of the following questions, you can gain help from attending a treatment and support group. Click here for further information.