Couples Counselling - Being Together

What makes connection in marriage so difficult? How can a couple who have been together for a long time, still feel as though they hardly know each other? Consider whether any of these statements reflect your experience with your partner:-

• I sometimes get ignored when I need attention the most.
• I get angry and upset when I don't get the attention I need from this person.
• I often find myself becoming irritable with this person.
• I often feel irritated that my partner isn't on my side.
• I have trouble getting my partner to listen or respond to me.

According to research, couples who are contemptuous of each other are more likely to suffer from infectious illnesses (colds, flu, and so on) than other people. It is not the presence or absence of arguments that determines whether a relationship will breakdown � it is the presence of the "four horsemen" namely criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling that predicts divorce amongst married couples.

Contrary to popular opinion, marital therapy based on active listening ("talk therapy") and conflict resolution alone is surprisingly not effective. Instead, CPT employs a model of couples counselling using interventions that build and sustain lasting relationships.

Counsellors work at a depth with couples to identify the areas of gridlock in relationships, confront destructive patterns of relating, or "unlearn" what has kept couples lonely and isolated from one another.